May 31, 2021

5 Tips To Help Build Your Confidence

5 Tips To Help Build Your Confidence

Being a young adult is never easy, especially now. Despite growing up in our ever changing world we are now living in a digital age. An age where you can go on your phone and see photos of people halfway around the world living your dream life… having the perfect body… you name it… whatever “perfect” means to you is no more than a hashtag search away!

Our parent’s generation can’t quite understand how hard it is for us young people to handle this kind of pressure.

Pressure to be perfect and to always be “chasing the dream”… because no matter where YOU are, there’s always someone out there working a little bit harder, looking a little bit better, grabbing the world by the tail just a bit better than you are.

Seriously…it can really wear on your self image. It causes most of us to think “What’s wrong with me?”… at least from time to time, right?!

How can we protect ourselves from the constant assault our self-esteem takes from seeing this kind of stuff 24x7x365?

How do YOU find YOUR confidence and learn to feel great about yourself no matter where you are in life?

The truth is, I’m still figuring this out myself, but here are some things that have helped me.  Maybe they’ll help you too:

1. Remember, the hype machine isn’t reality.

Regardless of how “perfect” someone’s life looks from the outside it’s always good to remember they are people — JUST LIKE YOU!  Oh, sure, they may have something you WANT, but they have problems, and struggles just like the rest of us.  You just never get to see them because they aren’t “on brand”. Their minor life disasters never make it onto their feed..  

I assure you that the travel blogging couple you admire so much aren’t posting pics of themselves retching over a toilet because the local street food gave them food poisoning.  All you get to see are the smiles, gorgeous photos, and exotic locals.

2. Think of life as a line.

You know how when you wait in line somewhere they’re always a front, middle and end of the line… You don’t think “oh… I suck” when you’re at the back of the line.  You just know that the people at the front got there before you… and they stood where you are right now not long ago.

If you are just starting out on a journey… whether it’s fitness, starting a business, getting into real estate… whatever.  You’re not going to be “killing it” the same way those big influencers are.  It took them years to get where they are.  Don’t be ashamed of that.  They’re just farther in front of you “in line”.  You’ll get there.

That should INSPIRE YOU. In some ways they’re proof that if you hustle hard, and hustle smart you’ll get your turn too.  

Don’t let their success bum you out that you’re not getting far enough fast enough. Anything in life worth having takes an IMMENSE amount of hard work and CONSISTENT commitment.  Just keep showing up day after day and good things WILL happen.

3. Resist jumping on your phone right when you wake up.

This is a tip I got from a podcast and I really love it. I’ll admit there are some days I don’t do this but, most of the time I try to not start my day by grabbing my phone.

I try to start my day with thoughts of positivity and gratitude for everything I have to be thankful for — not, who was at what party last night, the girl with the best body, or someone on an exotic trip.

There’s a time and a place to look at all of that, but get your day started with some good mental “nutrition” to start your day.

4. Surround yourself with the right people

The personal development legend Jim Rohn is famous for the quote “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” and I believe he is VERY right.  Therefore it’s SUPER important to be selective about who you choose to hang out with.

I can already hear you saying “easier said than done” … and YOU’RE RIGHT!  It is hard.

But, as I’ve gotten a bit older and met the kind of people who are REALLY crushing it in life, I can see how true this is.  They’re very selective about who they let into their world.  It’s a trait that ALL the uber successful people I’ve met seem to share.

I know this is hard, but if you have toxic people in your life (you know who they are), start putting some distance between them and you and replace them with people who share a common vision and BRING something to your life vs. sap your energy, spirit and motivation.

Think of yourself as the main character of your own life story.

Take control, I know it can be hard. I’ve struggled with pleasing other people too much. I was too concerned about what others thought of me. Even if they were bad people for me. Don’t let people take your energy who don’t deserve it.

5. Spend time alone

Spending time alone, as weird as it sounds, to “get to know yourself” is so important. It takes time and effort to figure out who you are, what you REALLY want, and what you need to do to become that person.

I feel as I move through different stages of my life, the more time I spend alone the more I learn. It’s almost like the ability to get a birds eye view on what’s going on in your life — seeing things with a 360 degree perspective.  That often helps me figure out what I should be focusing more on, and what I should be doing less of.

Quiet time can be your best friend.  Doing simple tasks by yourself is an excellent way to drift into this time for reflection.

And remember… Moving forward in your life can be emotionally taxing — so be kind and gentle with yourself. Confidence grows as you get clear on your vision. You have to put effort into it, but it’s empowering.

As a whole, confidence is something that needs constant care and feeding. But with just a little work I think you’ll see positive results that help  empower you and build your confidence.

Try it and let me know if it works for you!